First year away from home

[Michelle Walsh]

Beloved Connor

I know he's not a Setter but this gentle soul was a major part of my life for over 14 years and today is his first anniversary away from home & I still miss the old man terribly. I ended up with this guy purely by accident, while taking my little sister's Guinea Pig Spike to the vets for a nail trim, I ended up with a puppy ! Con & his six sisters were left unwanted at five weeks of age at the vets all he knew was that their mother was a Border Collie & the father was a Rough Collie...he was desperate to find homes for them.

I had lost my beautiful Ceasar (Norweighan Elkhound 13 years) a year ago & was ready for another dog...Con was too cute to ignore :)

Here he is a five week old ball of fluff sharing his new bed with a teddy and little Spike. The two of them became very good friends despite the size difference and Con was always very gentle with this bossy little lady :) her fav pastime was chewing on his hair and the big softie just let her.

 

 A few months later, he's looking a lot bigger but still sharing his bed with his little lady ! Sorry the picture's a bit blurry, I'm taking photos of photos folks ! Didn't have my fancy digital camera 15 years ago :)

 

 Of all the dogs I've owned Con was certainly the most gentle and patient of beasties...just to give you an idea of his temperment, here he is chomping away on his dinner while Spike chomps away on his hair and he's not batting an eyelid. He was so smart too...never ceased to amaze me, but then I guess Collies are pretty clever dogs :)

 

 A couple of years on and Con's growing into quite the handsome chappie :) but it was about this time that he was diagnoised with epilepsy. Luckily he didn't need to go on daily meds until he was much older...he always knew when he was about to have a fit and would come over to me. Many years later and I bought my first English Setter Legolas. I had moved house and I bought Lego as company for Con. They just clicked straight away and again his tolerance and patience with this loopy young pup was lovely to see. He was a great help rearing both Lego & Theoden, speeding up toilet training & teaching manners & sharing...I was very lucky !

 Putting up with a bed hogging setter puppy...who despite having his own bed prefered to sleep with his big buddy !

 

Sharing is caring !!  Lego's trade mark cheeky look started at an early age :)

 

 Here's my baby in 2007 at one of his fav locations...Clogga Beach Arklow. When he was younger he really loved swimming. As he got older we would have to try and keep him away from the water as best we could, it wasn't good for him to get too wet. He developed arthritis, a disease I have come to truly hate. He took a very long time to get dry even with a hair drier & it wasn't good to have him damp.

 

One of my fav pictures of Connor, smiling with every part of his face :)

As the years rolled on, the arthritis became worse, we tried everything, herbal remedies, glucosamine, countless courses of cartrofen injections and towards the last two years...daily doses of metacam. However there comes a time when not even the very best of medicines can help. I knew I was probably being selfish but I did try to hold onto my baby for as long as possible. I know I'm very lucky to have had him for 14 years & 3 months, there are many people here on the site that have lost their canine companions at a very young age but still it's never really long enough...the bitter side of loving dogs. Towards the end, I'm ashamed to admit that I often cried myself to sleep, hoping & sometimes praying that my baby would pass away peacefully and spare me having to make that horrible decision again but it was not to be. His mind was still alert, his spirit was willing & his heart was strong but his body was failing him. His hearing was going, he was starting to lose his sight but it was his joints that were finall giving up.

Making the call to the vet to book a day for her  to call to the house was incredibly difficult and I was left counting down the days we had let together. Finally the day came, March 31st 2010. My dad stayed with us, he adored Connor. We tried to make his last day as great as possible, even squeezing in a short slow walk and muching on his fav boiled sausages.

When she arrived I just wanted to tell her I'd changed my mind but I knew I had to go through with it. Strange as it might sound I tried to convince myself that the injection he was receiving was just another booster so I could tolerate her doing it. But when the light went out in his eyes and his head fell heavy in my arms... I knew he was gone forever & my heart just broke. I know on some deep intellectual level I did the right thing but a year on , I still haven't quite managed to convince my heart. I think I will always feel some guilt over what I had to do, no doubt their are many other dogs owners out there that feel the same way.

 

The picture below was taken an hour before I had to say good bye to my baby...a stately elder gentleman. To those of you still reading, you have my thanks, it has been a bit helpful to write about this difficult experience and so before I upset myself further I shall finish with the last thing my baby heard before he fell sleep each night..

 

Nite, nite my love, god bless & sweet dreams...Shell loves you xxx

[Peter Hennig]

my eyes are filled with tears, I know exactly how you feel as do many people on this site. Take comfort in the knowledge you were able to end Connor's suffering there's no more pain   only peace

[Michelle Walsh]

Hello Gents ! Lovely to hear from you both.

Peter ; Sorry for the upset but thanks for taking the time to read about this special guy. I do understand on some level that it was the right thing to do for him as he was physically ailing, it's just so hard to do it when the spirit is still so willing...if you know what I mean. There certainly are a huge number of people here on the site with similar experiences and it seems that there have been so many lovley dogs passing on lately, it's a great shame. thanks again for your kind words xx

Jean ; Thank you very much for your lovely comment, it's much appreciated and for the huge compliment also, my french is a little rusty but I'm pretty sure what you meant. Sometimes being big hearted can have it's drawbacks but yes I do still treasure all the wonderful years we had together especially when he was younger and so very, very active :) I suppose all those years of fun took their toll in the end. I will always count myself very lucky to have had him. Take care xx

[Deb Bouttell]

That's the problem for we who love dogs, they're just not with us for long enough.....

[Michelle Walsh]

Hi Deb ! all too true I'm afraid, I think it's why I greedily tried to hang on to him for as long as possible. It seems as though smaller breeds tend to have a longer life span...in general but I'm a big-dog dog lover...need something substantial to cuddle :) and unfortunately they get old far too quickly. Thanks very much xx

[Barbara]

Hi Michelle! I just read your story and tears are rolling. I know your pain ... our beloved dogs will always remain in our hearts ...

[KC and the boys]

Such a moving and personal story. Thank you for sharing it with us, Michelle. I'm not surprised Connor took such a shine to Spike... she was the ideal compadre: a ball shaped mini Collie with a squeeky voice...

[Denise Armstrong]

OMG - this is so beautiful, I have tears rolling as I type, what a tribute to one who clearly touched your heart in a big way.