First year away from home

[Michelle Walsh]

Beloved Connor

I know he's not a Setter but this gentle soul was a major part of my life for over 14 years and today is his first anniversary away from home & I still miss the old man terribly. I ended up with this guy purely by accident, while taking my little sister's Guinea Pig Spike to the vets for a nail trim, I ended up with a puppy ! Con & his six sisters were left unwanted at five weeks of age at the vets all he knew was that their mother was a Border Collie & the father was a Rough Collie...he was desperate to find homes for them.

I had lost my beautiful Ceasar (Norweighan Elkhound 13 years) a year ago & was ready for another dog...Con was too cute to ignore :)

Here he is a five week old ball of fluff sharing his new bed with a teddy and little Spike. The two of them became very good friends despite the size difference and Con was always very gentle with this bossy little lady :) her fav pastime was chewing on his hair and the big softie just let her.

 

 A few months later, he's looking a lot bigger but still sharing his bed with his little lady ! Sorry the picture's a bit blurry, I'm taking photos of photos folks ! Didn't have my fancy digital camera 15 years ago :)

 

 Of all the dogs I've owned Con was certainly the most gentle and patient of beasties...just to give you an idea of his temperment, here he is chomping away on his dinner while Spike chomps away on his hair and he's not batting an eyelid. He was so smart too...never ceased to amaze me, but then I guess Collies are pretty clever dogs :)

 

 A couple of years on and Con's growing into quite the handsome chappie :) but it was about this time that he was diagnoised with epilepsy. Luckily he didn't need to go on daily meds until he was much older...he always knew when he was about to have a fit and would come over to me. Many years later and I bought my first English Setter Legolas. I had moved house and I bought Lego as company for Con. They just clicked straight away and again his tolerance and patience with this loopy young pup was lovely to see. He was a great help rearing both Lego & Theoden, speeding up toilet training & teaching manners & sharing...I was very lucky !

 Putting up with a bed hogging setter puppy...who despite having his own bed prefered to sleep with his big buddy !

 

Sharing is caring !!  Lego's trade mark cheeky look started at an early age :)

 

 Here's my baby in 2007 at one of his fav locations...Clogga Beach Arklow. When he was younger he really loved swimming. As he got older we would have to try and keep him away from the water as best we could, it wasn't good for him to get too wet. He developed arthritis, a disease I have come to truly hate. He took a very long time to get dry even with a hair drier & it wasn't good to have him damp.

 

One of my fav pictures of Connor, smiling with every part of his face :)

As the years rolled on, the arthritis became worse, we tried everything, herbal remedies, glucosamine, countless courses of cartrofen injections and towards the last two years...daily doses of metacam. However there comes a time when not even the very best of medicines can help. I knew I was probably being selfish but I did try to hold onto my baby for as long as possible. I know I'm very lucky to have had him for 14 years & 3 months, there are many people here on the site that have lost their canine companions at a very young age but still it's never really long enough...the bitter side of loving dogs. Towards the end, I'm ashamed to admit that I often cried myself to sleep, hoping & sometimes praying that my baby would pass away peacefully and spare me having to make that horrible decision again but it was not to be. His mind was still alert, his spirit was willing & his heart was strong but his body was failing him. His hearing was going, he was starting to lose his sight but it was his joints that were finall giving up.

Making the call to the vet to book a day for her  to call to the house was incredibly difficult and I was left counting down the days we had let together. Finally the day came, March 31st 2010. My dad stayed with us, he adored Connor. We tried to make his last day as great as possible, even squeezing in a short slow walk and muching on his fav boiled sausages.

When she arrived I just wanted to tell her I'd changed my mind but I knew I had to go through with it. Strange as it might sound I tried to convince myself that the injection he was receiving was just another booster so I could tolerate her doing it. But when the light went out in his eyes and his head fell heavy in my arms... I knew he was gone forever & my heart just broke. I know on some deep intellectual level I did the right thing but a year on , I still haven't quite managed to convince my heart. I think I will always feel some guilt over what I had to do, no doubt their are many other dogs owners out there that feel the same way.

 

The picture below was taken an hour before I had to say good bye to my baby...a stately elder gentleman. To those of you still reading, you have my thanks, it has been a bit helpful to write about this difficult experience and so before I upset myself further I shall finish with the last thing my baby heard before he fell sleep each night..

 

Nite, nite my love, god bless & sweet dreams...Shell loves you xxx

[Catherine Carter]

I am still reading...I know how hard it was for you...I had to do the same for my first Irish Setter, Rufus, and I can hardly write about it now and it was 15 years ago....we have to do it for the love of our dogs....

[Michelle Walsh]

Hi Catherine,

Many thanks for your comment, I can totally understand about your dear Rufus, I still get upset thinking about my beastie Ceasar who had to be put to sleep over 16 years ago. The memory of an experience like that can be very hard to forget and even come to terms with. ~ Take care x

[Teresa]

Beautiful post. It's very hard to say goodbye and make the decision to let them go. You were very strong. It looks like your baby had a wonderful life next to you and that you have precious memories of him

[Lynn Spencer]

Hi Michelle,

What beautiful photo's.   Con certainly grew into a very beautiful boy. 

You have me in tears with your beautiful words.  Guess it is still a bit close to home for me as we lost our beloved English Setter to cancer last October at not quite 9yrs.  Still finding things difficult. 

You gave this beautiful boy a wonderful & very happy life. I'm sure today will be hard for you.

Hugs & thankyou for sharing.

 

 

[Michelle Walsh]

Hi Teresa,

Thanks very much, it was difficult to write I won't deny it, the tears were flowing...again. I hope he did have a good life, he always seemed to be happy which is a good sign :) and I do have many, many precious memories...still there's nothing I would not do to still have him here with me & healthy. ~ Thanks again x

[Michelle Walsh]

Hi Lynn,

Thanks alot, I'm biased of course, but he did turn out quite handsome for a mutt :)

I'm sorry it was upsetting for you to read but it's totally understandable considering your own recent loss. The one thing I am truly grateful for is the years I had with my baby, my heart goes out to you & the many others that lose their beastie babies so young...it just doesn't seem fair and it's bound to make the loss all the more painful. ~ Many hugs back to you x

[Yvonne Wark]

I know just how you feel.  I had to make the decision with my yellow lab who was 14 and had been a real sweetheart.  We had loads of warnings and the time came when we had to make the decision.  That was in the April and it broke my heart.  That was three years ago and was the worst decsion I had to make.  We also had a black lab who was only 9 years old and was fine then one morning my husband took her out for her usual walk and she collapsed.  She had a bleading tumour and heart failure she had to be put to sleep 4 days later.  We were so heartbroken and we still think of them and it still hurts.  After Lucy went we got a lovely Springer spaniel collie cross who is such a cuddle pup and then just over a year ago we got our long awaited Irish Setter who is such a darling.  Chews everything in sight but we love her.  It is so hard to say goodbye but we all have our wonderful memories of our trusting loving dogs.

[Yvonne Wark]

Should have said our lovely black lab was called Tara!!!

[Michelle Walsh]

Hi Yvonne,

Many thanks for your comment...I know it must have been very difficult to say goodbye to your two Labs, I'm very sorry for your losses and I totally agree...it is easily the worst decision a person would ever have to make...to end the life of a loved one, even when that loved one is a canine companion. ..and if you're anything like me, who has four-legged children then it makes it all the harder...even when it's in their best interests to do it. Atleast we have our memories. I hope you have many, many years ahead of you with your Springer & Setter Yvonne. ~Take care x

[Michelle Walsh]

Hi Val,

Thanks, I'm glad you like the pictures. I shed a few tears while writing the blog, his passing still feels like only yesterday. Our dogs do bring us great joy throughout their lives..I just wish the price for that joy wasn't so high.

Your Aston was a beautiful lady, she wore her grey well. I love the picture of her with your new puppy Zara...she's adorable by the way. Old pics of Con are hard to look at too, I still haven't been able to watch my video clips of him yet, it's tough and yes I agree...totally heartbreaking. ~ Hugs x