First year away from home

[Michelle Walsh]

Beloved Connor

I know he's not a Setter but this gentle soul was a major part of my life for over 14 years and today is his first anniversary away from home & I still miss the old man terribly. I ended up with this guy purely by accident, while taking my little sister's Guinea Pig Spike to the vets for a nail trim, I ended up with a puppy ! Con & his six sisters were left unwanted at five weeks of age at the vets all he knew was that their mother was a Border Collie & the father was a Rough Collie...he was desperate to find homes for them.

I had lost my beautiful Ceasar (Norweighan Elkhound 13 years) a year ago & was ready for another dog...Con was too cute to ignore :)

Here he is a five week old ball of fluff sharing his new bed with a teddy and little Spike. The two of them became very good friends despite the size difference and Con was always very gentle with this bossy little lady :) her fav pastime was chewing on his hair and the big softie just let her.

 

 A few months later, he's looking a lot bigger but still sharing his bed with his little lady ! Sorry the picture's a bit blurry, I'm taking photos of photos folks ! Didn't have my fancy digital camera 15 years ago :)

 

 Of all the dogs I've owned Con was certainly the most gentle and patient of beasties...just to give you an idea of his temperment, here he is chomping away on his dinner while Spike chomps away on his hair and he's not batting an eyelid. He was so smart too...never ceased to amaze me, but then I guess Collies are pretty clever dogs :)

 

 A couple of years on and Con's growing into quite the handsome chappie :) but it was about this time that he was diagnoised with epilepsy. Luckily he didn't need to go on daily meds until he was much older...he always knew when he was about to have a fit and would come over to me. Many years later and I bought my first English Setter Legolas. I had moved house and I bought Lego as company for Con. They just clicked straight away and again his tolerance and patience with this loopy young pup was lovely to see. He was a great help rearing both Lego & Theoden, speeding up toilet training & teaching manners & sharing...I was very lucky !

 Putting up with a bed hogging setter puppy...who despite having his own bed prefered to sleep with his big buddy !

 

Sharing is caring !!  Lego's trade mark cheeky look started at an early age :)

 

 Here's my baby in 2007 at one of his fav locations...Clogga Beach Arklow. When he was younger he really loved swimming. As he got older we would have to try and keep him away from the water as best we could, it wasn't good for him to get too wet. He developed arthritis, a disease I have come to truly hate. He took a very long time to get dry even with a hair drier & it wasn't good to have him damp.

 

One of my fav pictures of Connor, smiling with every part of his face :)

As the years rolled on, the arthritis became worse, we tried everything, herbal remedies, glucosamine, countless courses of cartrofen injections and towards the last two years...daily doses of metacam. However there comes a time when not even the very best of medicines can help. I knew I was probably being selfish but I did try to hold onto my baby for as long as possible. I know I'm very lucky to have had him for 14 years & 3 months, there are many people here on the site that have lost their canine companions at a very young age but still it's never really long enough...the bitter side of loving dogs. Towards the end, I'm ashamed to admit that I often cried myself to sleep, hoping & sometimes praying that my baby would pass away peacefully and spare me having to make that horrible decision again but it was not to be. His mind was still alert, his spirit was willing & his heart was strong but his body was failing him. His hearing was going, he was starting to lose his sight but it was his joints that were finall giving up.

Making the call to the vet to book a day for her  to call to the house was incredibly difficult and I was left counting down the days we had let together. Finally the day came, March 31st 2010. My dad stayed with us, he adored Connor. We tried to make his last day as great as possible, even squeezing in a short slow walk and muching on his fav boiled sausages.

When she arrived I just wanted to tell her I'd changed my mind but I knew I had to go through with it. Strange as it might sound I tried to convince myself that the injection he was receiving was just another booster so I could tolerate her doing it. But when the light went out in his eyes and his head fell heavy in my arms... I knew he was gone forever & my heart just broke. I know on some deep intellectual level I did the right thing but a year on , I still haven't quite managed to convince my heart. I think I will always feel some guilt over what I had to do, no doubt their are many other dogs owners out there that feel the same way.

 

The picture below was taken an hour before I had to say good bye to my baby...a stately elder gentleman. To those of you still reading, you have my thanks, it has been a bit helpful to write about this difficult experience and so before I upset myself further I shall finish with the last thing my baby heard before he fell sleep each night..

 

Nite, nite my love, god bless & sweet dreams...Shell loves you xxx

[Trudy Walsh]

What a legacy Con has left behind. There  are so many people who will never have such a lovely tribute. I still think with great fondness of my first dog Pete. A chocolate Labrador. He was my best buddy and will never be forgotten. Clogga beach? My sister has a log cabin there and my dogs often have runs on the beach.

Con was a very lucky boy.

[martina mckeag]

Hi Michelle just read your very sad story dont think there is anything else i can say

i agree with everyone it will take a long time to ease your pain he was a beautiful dog and you will

always have the great memories of him.

Thinking of you Martina

[Michelle Walsh]

Hello to all my very dear frinds out there !

Many, many thanks for your kind comforting comments. I'm sorry that many of your found this a hard blog to read, trust me...it was almost impossible to write. I understand that many of you have been in a similar situation, some of us more than once unfortunately and it doesn't matter how many years have passed, the hurt remains as fresh as the day we have to say good bye and besides, we dog owners are an emotional bunch :)

 

Martina ; Thanks hun, it is sad & upsetting. They say time is a healer...we'll have to wait and see. I'll be hanging on to those memories for dear life. Bye for now xx

 

Trudy ; I'm glad you enjoyed this little tribute, it was the very least I could do for this fine fellow on his anniversary. I'm sure Pete was a great character, Labs always have such lovley temperments. I guess we never forget any of our beastie babies, no matter how much time passes by. Clogga beach is lovley, your sister is very lucky ! I go there when I visit my folks in Arklow, my setters still enjoy running on the sand & Theoden is a real water rat. xx

 

Howard ; Thanks very much for your kind words Howard, my memories are very precious indeed & the many photos I have of him are amongst my most treasured possessions. xx

 

Cheryl ; Hi Hun, thanks for reading and again apologies for upsetting you. I guess it's hard for us dog owners not to become tearful when faced with this kind of thing and I agree...it's never ever really long enough and I know guilt will haunt me for a long, long time. It's that high price we have to pay isn't it? take care xx

 

Lynn ; We shed tears together my friend. Even answering all these wonderful comments is upsetting but necessary as I am most appreciative of the support. I'm glad you enjoyed my baby's story & his photos ! I'm not to ashamed to say they are but the very, very tip of the iceberg, I must have 1000's from over the years & i do treasure them all. Many thanks xx

 

Myra ; Hi ! and again sorry for the tears. he was a real beauty wasn't he :) I'm totally biased ofcourse ! but even if he was the ugliest mut on the planet I would have loved him as his personality was second to none. I was blessed to have had a lad like him and I'll always be grateful to little bossy Spike, without her I may have never had the chance to share my life with Con...isn't life strange how things work out? Thanks a lot xx

 

Wanda ; Thanks very much wanda, I'm glad you enjoyed his story & yes the heart ache & grief is still very much there but I am most grateful for all your support, it means alot. Hugs xx

 

Chantall ; Hi Chantall, thanks ever so much hun for taking the time to comment here, I know it must have been very difficult for you when your own grief is still very fresh.It's never easy losing a loved one and like you my beasties ARE my children, some people say it's crazy to get so attached to an animal but my heart doesn't distinguish...it loves what it loves ! I'm glad you liked this little memorial to my old man & I would like to pass on my sympathies again on your own loss. Take care my friend xx

 

Angela ; Hi there, thanks very much for your words of support. You must be incredibly strong to have been able to make all those difficult decisions for your companions...I honestly don't know how you did it. I've only had to do it twice & it nearly killed me & no doubt in the future it'll probably be forced upon me again. And as for the crying...you're not alone hun, we all get overly emotional when it comes to our animals, i think it's an animal lovers best trait...compassion. Take care xx

[Sheree Parrish]

What a wonderful tribute to your darling boy, I also have tears running down my face reading this.  Thinking of you Michelle xxx

[Michelle Walsh]

Hello Ladies,

Thanks for taking the time to read my little blog about my beloved Con.

Sue ; He was pretty special...well to me anyway :) so it made it all the more difficult to lose him and I was happy to share. Many Thanks xx

Sheree ; Hi hun, how are you? Glad you liked the little tribute, tough to write but I'm not sorry I did it, hope you weren't too upset. Take care xx

Julie ; Hello there, I hope you didn't get any strange looks at work, sorry to have you crying, things like this can get very emotional for us dog lovers. Thanks alot for your kindness. Bye for now xx

[Maggie Smith]

Oh bless you Michelle for loving Connor and sharing a great life. Run free sweet boy....

[Sherry Miller]

Michelle....Connor was what I call a "dog of our heart"....just one of those very special dogs ( and they come in all shapes, colors and sizes) who answers a special call from our own heart.  Yes , physically Connor has been away from home a year but not away in the most important way....Michelle you carry Connor with you each and everyday in your heart so he is never very far away.  Treasure your special memories you shared with Connor but also share with other animals the wisdom that Connor shared  with you by being your devoted loving companion....the Best Title any animal can ever have.  Hugs!

[Susan Mogony]

I am so sorry for you. I recognize your story of Connor in my old great gentleman Gable who was with me for more then 16 years and my other great oldy Bixby who lived 15,5 years with me. You never get used to say goodbye and you never want to let them go. Even after the years go by i still think of them and sometimes cry that they aren't with me anymore. Having 4 other lovely dogs by now with great characters and reading your story my heart already breaks when i think of the time that i have to say goodbye to them.

I realy hope your other dogs give you the strenght and the pleasure to think of Connor and help you to remember him in his own great way.   

[Michelle Walsh]

Hi Ladies !

Susan ; I guess we both have been very lucky to have had some of our boys for so long 15 & 16 years is a great run. Many dog owners would be most envious of such time together but as I've said before...it's never really long enough. Crying over lost friends not matter how long they're gone is only natural , I still shed tears over Ceasar gone 16 years now. I can only hope that you are as lucky with your other four beasties and that you have many. many more years together. My two lads have been fantastic ! it would have been sooo much more difficult not to have them around for cuddles when I was feeling low. Many thanks for your kind words of support ~ Take care xx

Sherry ; Hi Hun ! sorry I missed you birthday..hope you have a nice time ! Many thanks Sherry, that's a lovely saying...'dog of our heart', old Con certainly had my heart wrapped around his hairy paws :) I love that beastie to bits...even when he drove me crazy at times :) and I still do think about him eveyday, hard not to when there are memories & pictures of him everywhere around the house. You make alot of sense Sherry, thanks very much for all the support..it really does help. Stay safe xx

Maggie ; Hey there, thanks alot for taking the time to read this little blog on Con, it was a very tough one to write but I'm glad I did it. There was certainly no shortage of love...thanks for your kindness xx

 

[McBIRDY - Jean DUHANT]

Reading this lovely and sad story with so many tears ! BUT we know you have had a wonderful time with your beautiful Con  ! All of us on ES have had to take  this terrible decision ! but it was for the well-being of your friend !

You can say you have had a wondeful chance to get him as a puppy ! Like Sherry said "it was the dog of your heart "

Everybody  here  can say you are " une dame de coeur "    Take care !