Sad discussion

[rosie beere]

It is not a nice subject I know I was just wondering how many of our beautiful setters
Have past away gently in their sleep rather than the horrible task of making that final heartbreaking
decision it time to let go.
I do hope this is not too upsetting for anyone that may have recently had to make that kind choice.
Rosie

[Valerie Short]

I can comment on this subject Rosie, as I have had this experience. It was deeply upsetting for me and my husband as we thought maybe we had missed something with Bridie's health. But as far as Lena or other Setter was concerned she was with her and seemed to accept her loss without to much of a problem.

[Angela Clarke]

It is just under 3 months since Abbie left us, I had to make that decision knowing she only had a few days if that, because she was losing so much blood there was no decision to make, she may have gone in her sleep but I would always have wondered if she had suffered all night. The answer I can give you is life is not always black and white and each passing  is not always a horrid decision it is part of care for our beloved pets.

Every day I cry a tear for her, but never have I considered that there was any other way.

[rosie beere]

Hi to both of you thank you for replying on such a sad subject. I personally only had one of my darlings pass away in her sleep was so gentle and even though it left me stunned was such a great end for a wonderful15 year old lady.
It was interesting Valerie you felt a sense f guilt that maybe you had missed something never think that we love them to much for that to be the case. It's the same when we have to make the decision that the time has come to let them leave us with their dignity left to them. No it's never black and white Angela I guess the question was to me anyway is it ever less painful to us left behind as gone in their sleep or the wonderful gentle vets and the answer is no. Thanks again for you replies, my heart still grieves for my girl gone these four years even though I'm bless with my boy.

[Howard Glansfield]

Thanks Rosie for the opportunity to say,like Angela,that my wife and I have never had any of our pets die "naturally" apart from one.

With our pets, when we knew the time was getting near we both hoped that we would find the terrible decision, that we knew we would have to make, had been made for us and it never happened ,apart from Spock ,a beautiful old white cat,who died whilst asleep in the garden whilst enjoying his beloved sun.You have me in tears now.We love our animals so much and the pain of their death never goes.

[Dianne cook]

A girlfriend of mine recently found her five year old golden had passed on her bed. She had had surgery for bone cancer three months earlier and somehow I guess this had something to do with her sudden passing. It was such a huge shock for my friend. I feel Millie had come into my friends life and stayed the short five years, so that my friend had the support she needed at the time! They do certainly break our hearts when they go....now I'm crying....but another fur soul comes along to help ease the pain. :o)

[Sue Paterson]

Only one of our boys went without us having to make the decision.

Sadly it was a horrible experience for me, coming in to find Dollar on the kitchen floor with his skin turning black. I couldn't do anything, but wait and make him as comfortable as possible, and those 5 minutes were interminable but still precious. Thankfully I was there when he finally passed away, and I was able to be telling him how much I loved him. But I still feel bad thinking, if I'd have been in earlier, I might have got him to  the vet or got the vet to him, because I'd never have lifted him by myself.

The other boys and girls (10 I believe) were all put to sleep to save them suffering pain and loss of dignity. Each of them gave us 'the look' before we made the arrangements. Without that 'look' we couldn't have done it. They are so wise and loving and deserve our final last act of compassion and love.

Do you know what I mean by 'the look'?

I so miss them all, and having lost Kiefer just before Christmas and with Bridie having stomach cancer its all very raw at this time. 

[Angela Clarke]

Yes Sue, I saw the look and I heard that last breath that said thank you. It was hard but knowing that she was losing so much blood, the thought of her suffering on her own helped me to be brave, in a way  it was a beautifull moment as she fell gently back in my arms.:(♡

[Finding_Beau]

I am not saying this to offend anyone because I know the pain of grief too well. I am not saying this to infer that anyone has only acted in the very best of interests of their loved one. However, I have to say that I do not know 'the look' because every being I have ever loved, both human and non-human, have fought with all their might to live, even despite their loss of dignity.

The vet I trusted to care for my English Setter, Rose, made a mistake. Rose was not euthanased. He explained to me that no one knows how any being is going to die and when they will die. He did his best for Rose.

If one believes in the Rainbow Bridge, i.e. Life after Death, one believes that all beings possess a Soul. Each one of us needs to be very conscious of our actions in the passing of a Soul. I believe that Animals are more worthy of human beings and Animals go to Heaven and if we are good enough, we are able to join them.

[Angela Clarke]

Hi Susan, I would love to believe in Rainbow bridge but not sure I do completely,  I hope there is a place, but where ever Abbies spirt is now I am sure her last look at me was a thank you and I shall never regret the decision that I made that day, it was for her and not for me.

I dont want you to think that I am offered by your post, what you say is what you have felt, as with me. Take care dear friend

[Finding_Beau]

Hi Angela, I did my very best to word my comment so that I did not offend anyone. I am certain you will never regret your decision. This topic is extremely sensitive, personal, and can change dramatically depending on the circumstances. I wish death was as simple as either dying peacefully in your sleep or euthanasia. I am not saying that euthanasia is wrong, or it is right. It is too complex. I had made the terrible decision that Rose’s life should end by euthanasia because she had suffered brain damage and she was paralysed. In my heart I did not believe that Rose could come back this time. Because of the wet weather we were experiencing, I also needed to have preparations in place to bury Rose. However, the vet disagreed and would not euthanase Rose. Rose’s death was an extremely traumatic experience for me, and for Hobson. I will not talk about Hammer, Annie, Khomet and my other animal children. Susan xxxx

[Sue Paterson]

As I mentioned 'the look', I have to say I take no offence at what you say, Susan.

In life there is one sure thing and that is death. We will all have had different  experiences in life which will colour how we feel and see things, and deal with that event, whether a loved companion's ,friend's or indeed our own...     

In my own life, our first grandson suffered with leukaemia for 4 years before his death , aged 7. Those years of treatment, followed by remission and then relapse, had a deep and lasting effect on me. My daughter told me of his words near the end when he said 'Mummy, I'm sorry but I can't try hard anymore'. She, and I, were with him through his last night, and I held them both whilst he passed away. And so that is what colours my thoughts, feelings and decisions.

Back to our beloved Irish boys and girls, I can only say that thankfully  they all lived to old age. Each one had an illness at the end that we fought together, some for a long time and some for far too short a time. With them all, there was a moment when we saw 'the look' that said ' please, no more'.  The decision is always painful and carefully considered, and if we don't see that look we don't take the final step.

Some people have a strong belief in life after death. I can only hope there is a Rainbow Bridge, because I don't know. It comforts me at times when I need it.

I'm sorry for any pain this causes to anyone, but I needed to reply.

I respect everyone's views and try to understand them and appreciate the very sensitive nature of this topic. Maybe it will help someone, I hope so.

[Angela Clarke]

Bless you Sue, so sad to lose any family member animal or human. I too lost a grandson he was eight months old and part of the reason that I got Abbie. We are all grown up in our views now on this site, and I believe we each except the views of other without taking offence.