My little Orange Belton English Setter girl "Annie"

[Finding_Beau]

It is with indescribable despair that I am again writing a tribute blog for one of my English Setters, this time for my little girl, Annie, who died at approx. 5am today, Monday, 25 June 2012. Annie would have turned 13 weeks old today.

When you purchase a purebred puppy from a registered breeder, this is not supposed to happen. The reason I purchased a purebred puppy was so that I did not “live” at a veterinary practice, as I have done over the last few years because of health problems with my English Setters, Hammer, Rose and Hobson. The reason I purchased a puppy was so that I did not have to suffer the terrible pain of grief again for a very long time.

I understand others have suffered, but my little girl died today and this is my grief and she was my girl, and Hammer was my boy and Rose was my girl and Beau was my boy. I was speaking to my friend, Jean this morning after Annie died and she said to me: “Susan, you have to try to stay strong” .. but, sometimes the losses become so great, as has happened to me, that you are pushed over the edge with your grief and you cannot go on.

This is a photo of Annie and Hobson taken on 27 May 2012. Annie had been living with us for 5 days. She was almost 9 weeks old. Maybe you might notice how tiny she is. Annie almost did not make it up to Hobson and I during her travel from New South Wales to Queensland. Dogtainers was unable to load Annie on the plane because of excessive diarrhoea. I was shocked when I saw how tiny and frail Annie was. She was covered in vomit, urine and diarrhoea when she eventually arrived at Coolangatta airport. I phoned my vet the next day. Annie only weighed 3.5kg! She was full of worms. She defecated and urinated in her own bed and she ran in her faeces because this must have been the way she lived during her first 8 weeks of life. I have been taking Annie to see my vet every week because of all her health problems. As well as being malnourished, she is 50% under-size and under-weight for a normal English Setter puppy of her age.

Even though I like the strong-boned English Setters, Annie was my little girl and I was prepared to do everything in my power to help her. I would never have parted with my Annie. Never!

This is a photo of Annie on the evening of Sunday, 24 June 2012. She was sitting on top of my one and only couch checking out what I was doing in the kitchen. She was starting to develop her front legs. Her hind legs were still very frail. I felt she was starting to improve.

Less than 12 hours later my little girl was dead. I feel completely and utterly traumatised. I am in shock. Hobson knows his little sister, Annie has died and he is also suffering. Annie’s death is totally unfair and I honestly do not know how I am going to cope with Annie’s tragic loss.

I re-covered the deck chairs on the verandah and bought new woollen dooners for Annie’s arrival. She loved to sit on the purple deck chairs. I look out onto the verandah now and Annie is not there. I bought her a soft mauve blanket. She slept on Benmore’s bed (my long-haired daschund) because she was so tiny she “drowned” in the normal beds. She took one of Rose’s toys to bed with her. When I covered her up to keep her warm, she looked up at me with so much love. When she looked at me, her tiny face softened so much because she loved me, and I loved my little girl so very much. But, now, I will never see my little girl again, and my heart is torn apart. I do not understand why my life has to be so hard.

The reason I love my English Setters so much and the reason each one of them love me so much is because our feelings run deep. We are not made from “froth and bubble”. We are made from "deeper stuff".

Except for my beautiful Hobson who continues to suffer ill health, my time with English Setters is now over. I never thought I would ever say this because I love this breed of dog so much, but the pain and the heartache has become too much for me. I honestly do not know how I am going to even get through this day.

Today is the birthday of my beautiful English Setter boy, Bandit. He suffered so much before we found each other just prior to his 7^th Birthday. When my English Setters suffer, I suffer. Our hearts and our souls are connected. When one of my English Setters dies, a piece of my heart dies. This is the way it is with us. Many people have assumed that I loved Beau more than my other English Setters and my horses because of the extent of my search for Beau. They were wrong. My search for Beau is only an example of what I would do for each and every one of them. They are my life, and I love them so much, but the big problem is that I am now struggling very hard to cope with their deaths. I miss them. I still cry every day for my beautiful Hammer. I miss him so much. I miss my Rose. I miss my Beau. I miss all my beautiful animal children in Heaven. And now my hope in Annie has been taken away from me. My little girl Annie is gone.

I wish to thank all the kind friends I have made on ES. I know you will understand my pouring out my heart and my despair.

[Sheree Parrish]

Oh Susan, I'm so very sorry for you, that dear little puppy was such a sweetie, far too young to be taken.  I am writing this with tears in my eyes as I feel for you, and for darling little Annie.  Run free at the bridge little one xxx

[Lynn Spencer]

Oh Susan, I am so sorry to read this.  I don't know what to say.   Please know how very sorry I am for your beautiful little Annie.  Thinking of both you & Hobson at this very sad time.  xxoo

 

[Corinne Wakefield]

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss of your little one, Annie. How cruel life can be. With tears in my eyes I am sending you a big (((hug))). x 

[Rhonda Fisher]

Susan I have now dried my eyes but I am still stuck for words. Sweet dreams for little Annie. Thank god she had you and Hobson to show her so much love and tender care in her short life. You are a special pair and need to take care of each other to get through the grief. Hugs to both of you

Rhonda Kerry and Murphy.

[martina mckeag]

Dear Susan so so sorry to hear about little Annie no words will take away your pain you have been through

so much thinking of you as is every one on ES . Hobson needs you now be strong for him give him a big hug

from me take care Martina and girls

[Susan Stone]

What a heratbreaking post, I feel your pain, Susan. The moment a puppy enters our life we love and adore it, losing one so young is painful beyond words. I can only imagine what you are going through now. Thinking of you... 

[Angela Clarke]

I have to say something, but no words will explain how much I feel for you right now.You must be the most wonderful brave person to be able to share these thought with us, as you are hurting so much.Thinking of you with admiration, huggs and licks from my two red`s xxxx

 

[Carmel Murphy]

So sad to lose a sweet baby like Annie. Thinking of you xxx

[Susan Mogony]

Horrible Susan the loss of another beloved Setter and so young. But she will stay in your heart and in time i hope that you will find another English Setter from a sensible breeder. A puppy who will need your love and kindnesson this earth and will give you all her/his love. All the strenght also for your Hobson!

[Howard Glansfield]

I am so sorry for your loss and your pain.There are no words adequate to help or to express how I feel ,but I care and am thinking of you.