It is with enormous sorrow that I write this. I had to put my baby down this morning. Dublin been having bad stomach problems from the potassium bromide he was on that were controlling very nicely his seizures. He has had runny stools for over a week and I saw both our vet and called the neuro about it. They didn't react quickly enough I am afraid to say because he woke today vomitting blood. He was trembling in pain and I rushed him to the vet and insisted they do the pancreatitis blood work. She didn't understand why I insisted on this test FIRST. I know that the drug he was on can cause it. She should have read more! Anyway he did have it and it had caused several ulcers hence the bleeding. He was in so much pain I just died. I ended his suffering earlier than some might think but I knew we couldn't afford all that was needed to be done today alone. Ultrasounds, IV and at least a week in the hospital let alone they had to stop his drugs and then start all over again with newer more expensive human drugs to try to control his seizures. And they said he would probably need surgery for the ulcers. I am pissed that money or lack of it meant he couldn't get a chance to survive but the end result is that he wasn't going to well even if I did have the money. He was suffering and I just couldn't do it anymore. I just didn't have 4 or 5 thousand dollars laying around. My household is devestated and my best friend is gone and I am so empty and I do not know how to go on without him here. He was only two but it felt like he had touched so so many people. Not a dry eye at the vets office and I have no idea how to tell all his friends at the dog park. He was just this huge presence in so many people's lives. My favorite breed, and I am afraid to get another one. But I don't think I can live without one either. Sigh.....sorry if I bummed anyone out. I just needed to vent and let my feelings out.